Shit from above

A bird shit on my shorts today.

Naturally I put on the gym shorts that were waiting for me in my bag.

The bag that had my gym gear in it.

To go to gym.

Thank Goodness I was born queer.  Thank double Goodness that at some stage I developed one of those body dysmorphia things, became a gym addict and as such had gym gear, including shorts available to be waiting for me.  

I cleaned the shit off my shorts, did a shit myself, got on with life.

Life today, apart from work, was figuring out what my first entry should be about. 

And then it hit me.  Indeed, like so much shit from above.  Smeared across my brain like some weird motivating force of nature.  

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the Universe.

Dear Universe,

I appreciate that shit showered down from above and gave me something to write about.  Perhaps even an apt metaphor for future adventures into the land of Blogging.

Shit happens, I react, I Blog...therefore I am?

More like you, am, Blog.  

You know what I've always found amazing about a bird shitting on you?  That people insist on endowing the process with 'luck'.  How unlucky are these people who consider being shit on lucky?  Would you feel lucky to be shit on?  

Maybe if you had one of those feces fetishes (fetish-i?). 

And good for you if you've figured that out. 

That must have been hard. 

And then awesome.

High five!

So, why am I writing this blog? 

It can't all be about shit.  (As much as you want it to be.)

One of the most prominent reasons is because other people told me to, so I am.  That's actually an important life lesson; never make a move until other people have validated what it is you were planning to do.

...right?

Blogging, like much of life, remains this vague mystery that I don't quite understand.

But I promise I'll do a thorough job of pretending that I do.

Prepare for random.

Prepare for anti-random, even common sense.

Prepare for awesome.

Prepare for opinionated.

Prepare for vague.

Prepare for me figuring this out as I go along.

Prepare for Next Tuesday.

See you there.

Love,

Dx